since i was in kindergarden i remember being compared to others...which made me feel bad obviously. but i thought after marraige i would never go through that again. i thought my husband would always be on my side and support me. but thats not the case. yesterday he told me that i was stupid compared to my cousin (who's a year older then me and is a doctor). and that his ex (also a yr or 2 older than me and also a doctor) is a better person than me... plus their thin like models and beautiful and smart and sexy. he has always told me that his friends and everyone else is better than me. he's even told me that his family and the general public of india is better than me. now, my husband himself is a doctor. from this anyone can see that i have no respect from him and obviously no love. i never thought that this would be my whole life. since he thinks all these people are better than me then obviously im not worth being with rite. if you think bout it then he must compare me to every single person he meets...he thinks bout all the criteria that i dont meet. im not thin, im fat. im not pretty, im ugly. im not smart, im stupid... im not even a good person. compared to every1 else im nothing rite. im scared that if we have kids this is what he'll teach them... or maybe he'll hate them cuz they arent good enough either. ive never been good enough for him and i'll never be. he's the expert at making me cry, feel depressed, make me hate myself. he's good at what he does and he's actually proud of it and sees nothing wrong in it.

im so sad and depressed. even though im married i feel alone. he's not fun or enjoyable or anything. hes always on his computer. i have nothing, no companion, no friends. im basically alone. and he's always bothering me about somthing. then he starts taunting me. hes so selfish and mean. he just likes to pretend and show-off.